"And what I dream of is a man who will discover her, and that she will discover a man who will love her, who is worthy of her, who is of this world, of this time, and has the grace, and compassion and fortitude to walk beside her as she makes her way through this beautifully called life" -B.P.-
Ok, so maybe I haven't been the best, but I have surely tried. I know that's hard to believe but those who know me, know. As one of my favorite songs says, "I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say, but I'm working on it..." I was really trying my best to learn them but I guess I'm a slow learner and some people just don't have enough patience or time... It's ok. I, myself, am not very patient and I tend to get bored with stuff like that. Aaaanywho... I think what I'm trying to say, is that I have learned some of those things throughout my life and maybe, just maybe, I'm ready to share them... This time I know I'm looking for something different; something worth it; something real. This time, I feel different, capable and whole. For the first time in months, I feel complete and great about myself again. It's as if the sky is clearing up after months of bad weather to warm up my life and future; as if I finally stopped staring at the closed door and found out that I own a keychain full of keys that unlock all those doors that guard the rest of my life. (Ok... there goes a déjà vu). I believe this is my queue in life.
I have grown quite a lot, spiritually and emotionally, and I have learned from my mistakes. I really don't ask for much; I just need enough. I know that soon I'll find that person who will turn my world upside down and who will make me fall head over heels once and for all. I know he has to be authentic; be himself no matter what. He must be proud of himslef and be in love with what he does. I want him to enjoy life and everything that comes with it, even the sad and difficult moments. I want him to trust me and not be afraid to be vulnerable once in a while. I want him to open up to me and help me open up to him. I want him to call me in the middle of the night just to say he's thinking of me and that he wishes he was lying beside me. I need him to be there when I feel the world is working against me; I need something to know we are on the same team. I need a pair of open arms waiting to hold me tight and tell me everything will be fine, when life is getting thorny. I want him to feel safe with me. I want him to say, "I miss you" and really mean it. I want to call him and hear him answer with a smile on his face, knowing I may have brightened his day just a little bit. I want him to surprise me with my favorite flower, even though I don't like flowers. I want him to cook me a romantic dinner, even if it's only mac & cheese and coke. He must love the ocean and the rain; he must be willing to kiss me in the rain every time we get a chance and run away with me to my beloved paradise once in a while. I want to learn new things from him, even if it's only a new way to tie my shoelaces or blow a kiss. I want him to look into my soul when we look at each other's eyes. I want him to live and let himself be lived. I want him to let me win some of the fights. I want to go bowling and surfing with him. I want to stay up all night with him, gazing at the stars while we imagine our own constellations. I want him to be as crazy as I am about travelling to Africa. I need him to be patient with my pms; he must try to understand that the best way to make it better is a kiss on my forehead and a bear hug. I want him to steal kisses from me when I least expect it. He should have imagination and an adventurous spirit; always willing to try new things, even if they look real dangerous. I want him to never be embarrassed to be with me even if I have a fake-permanent marker-drawn moustache and unibrow on my face. I want him to be afraid and comfort him when he's facing the unknown. I want him to be proud of me and I want him to support my choices. I want him to accept the fact that I love Elvis, that I dance like Elvis and that I ocassionally, dress up like Elvis. I want him to dress up as a fireman, and... well... (heheh) I want him to be the first one to remember my birthday and the first one to wish me a happy birthday surprising me with a chocolate cake baked by him and a pint of cherry garcia ice cream. I want to show him new things, from an invented word to a different way to wear a tie. I want to go to the movies and not care if the movie sucked, because all along we were holding hands and that made it worth it. I want him to choose a quiet night in, over a loud or pathetic night club. I need him to understand that I love costumes, and maybe even dress up together and crash a wedding dressed as Elvis and Chaplin. I want him to listen when we talk. I want him to learn the right way to talk to me when I'm being stubborn. I want him to be my partner in crime. I want him to be my best friend. I want him to make the best out of today. I want him to live our moment.
You might think it's too much to ask for, but it's only based on perspective, really. You might think that there's no one like that; that there's no such thing as prince charming. Well, you see, I am willing to do all of those things for someone worth it, maybe even more (I mean, let's face it, I've done it for a few that weren't). I am willing to live my life and live my moment with that special someone. I don't necessarily expect it to last forever, but I don't discard the possibility, either. I just feel everything is about giving and receiving; I must warn you: it won't be simultaneous. I often give more than I have without getting anything back at that very moment; later, someone comes along giving me more than I can take and I find myself not ready to recieve it, for I am caught up thinking of the past, and missing out on my present. Now, I feel ready... but then again, so did I the last time. Timing has always been my biggest issue. Timing has a way of twisting my plans so lavishly. We might not be ready, and we might be afraid, but we only get one shot in life and you either take it and learn from it, or spend the rest of your life wondering what it would have been. When you least expect it, when you're least ready, you are face to face with someone better than prince charming. Will I take a chance this time? Will I be so selfish again and think about myself before my wounded heart? I may not be ready, and I may not be sure, but that's how fate works. That's how life goes. That's how love grows... go figure.
Ok, so maybe I haven't been the best, but I have surely tried. I know that's hard to believe but those who know me, know. As one of my favorite songs says, "I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say, but I'm working on it..." I was really trying my best to learn them but I guess I'm a slow learner and some people just don't have enough patience or time... It's ok. I, myself, am not very patient and I tend to get bored with stuff like that. Aaaanywho... I think what I'm trying to say, is that I have learned some of those things throughout my life and maybe, just maybe, I'm ready to share them... This time I know I'm looking for something different; something worth it; something real. This time, I feel different, capable and whole. For the first time in months, I feel complete and great about myself again. It's as if the sky is clearing up after months of bad weather to warm up my life and future; as if I finally stopped staring at the closed door and found out that I own a keychain full of keys that unlock all those doors that guard the rest of my life. (Ok... there goes a déjà vu). I believe this is my queue in life.
I have grown quite a lot, spiritually and emotionally, and I have learned from my mistakes. I really don't ask for much; I just need enough. I know that soon I'll find that person who will turn my world upside down and who will make me fall head over heels once and for all. I know he has to be authentic; be himself no matter what. He must be proud of himslef and be in love with what he does. I want him to enjoy life and everything that comes with it, even the sad and difficult moments. I want him to trust me and not be afraid to be vulnerable once in a while. I want him to open up to me and help me open up to him. I want him to call me in the middle of the night just to say he's thinking of me and that he wishes he was lying beside me. I need him to be there when I feel the world is working against me; I need something to know we are on the same team. I need a pair of open arms waiting to hold me tight and tell me everything will be fine, when life is getting thorny. I want him to feel safe with me. I want him to say, "I miss you" and really mean it. I want to call him and hear him answer with a smile on his face, knowing I may have brightened his day just a little bit. I want him to surprise me with my favorite flower, even though I don't like flowers. I want him to cook me a romantic dinner, even if it's only mac & cheese and coke. He must love the ocean and the rain; he must be willing to kiss me in the rain every time we get a chance and run away with me to my beloved paradise once in a while. I want to learn new things from him, even if it's only a new way to tie my shoelaces or blow a kiss. I want him to look into my soul when we look at each other's eyes. I want him to live and let himself be lived. I want him to let me win some of the fights. I want to go bowling and surfing with him. I want to stay up all night with him, gazing at the stars while we imagine our own constellations. I want him to be as crazy as I am about travelling to Africa. I need him to be patient with my pms; he must try to understand that the best way to make it better is a kiss on my forehead and a bear hug. I want him to steal kisses from me when I least expect it. He should have imagination and an adventurous spirit; always willing to try new things, even if they look real dangerous. I want him to never be embarrassed to be with me even if I have a fake-permanent marker-drawn moustache and unibrow on my face. I want him to be afraid and comfort him when he's facing the unknown. I want him to be proud of me and I want him to support my choices. I want him to accept the fact that I love Elvis, that I dance like Elvis and that I ocassionally, dress up like Elvis. I want him to dress up as a fireman, and... well... (heheh) I want him to be the first one to remember my birthday and the first one to wish me a happy birthday surprising me with a chocolate cake baked by him and a pint of cherry garcia ice cream. I want to show him new things, from an invented word to a different way to wear a tie. I want to go to the movies and not care if the movie sucked, because all along we were holding hands and that made it worth it. I want him to choose a quiet night in, over a loud or pathetic night club. I need him to understand that I love costumes, and maybe even dress up together and crash a wedding dressed as Elvis and Chaplin. I want him to listen when we talk. I want him to learn the right way to talk to me when I'm being stubborn. I want him to be my partner in crime. I want him to be my best friend. I want him to make the best out of today. I want him to live our moment.
You might think it's too much to ask for, but it's only based on perspective, really. You might think that there's no one like that; that there's no such thing as prince charming. Well, you see, I am willing to do all of those things for someone worth it, maybe even more (I mean, let's face it, I've done it for a few that weren't). I am willing to live my life and live my moment with that special someone. I don't necessarily expect it to last forever, but I don't discard the possibility, either. I just feel everything is about giving and receiving; I must warn you: it won't be simultaneous. I often give more than I have without getting anything back at that very moment; later, someone comes along giving me more than I can take and I find myself not ready to recieve it, for I am caught up thinking of the past, and missing out on my present. Now, I feel ready... but then again, so did I the last time. Timing has always been my biggest issue. Timing has a way of twisting my plans so lavishly. We might not be ready, and we might be afraid, but we only get one shot in life and you either take it and learn from it, or spend the rest of your life wondering what it would have been. When you least expect it, when you're least ready, you are face to face with someone better than prince charming. Will I take a chance this time? Will I be so selfish again and think about myself before my wounded heart? I may not be ready, and I may not be sure, but that's how fate works. That's how life goes. That's how love grows... go figure.
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